Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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