i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
