I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
