i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
