i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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