you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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