There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
