I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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