so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
