Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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