There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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