I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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