I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
