you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how can u be prego again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize