Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
