i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize