Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
