its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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