In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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