ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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