So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
