dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
