I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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