Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He did a backflip because drugs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize