naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize