My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
