Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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