i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
