Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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