We need to rekindle our bromance
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
