I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
