in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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