Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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