Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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