CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
