we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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