I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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