i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
