i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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