Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
