So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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