Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she told me i tasted like america
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
