my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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