i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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