He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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