Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
