I am puke
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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