Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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