You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
