talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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