My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
