He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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