Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize