I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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